Welcome to CrystalCharee.com ! Click around and see what sick, twisted stuff she’s been up to. (Mostly watching cat videos on Facebook, so don’t be alarmed if you find nothing here.)
Crystal Charee has no idea what she’s doing. Writer, drawer, even, briefly, a stand-up comedian (everyone makes mistakes), Crystal Charee, like everyone on the planet, is figuring stuff out.
Born in Ohio, to drug-addicted, and insane parents, Crystal Charee is relatively functional. When she was three, Crystal moved her mother and her brothers to California, and raised them in a small, meth-centric town in the San Fernando Valley.
She’s not great at taking care of people, so the younger brother was hit by a car almost immediately and the older mother got cancer a few years ago. Both are dead, but Crystal is assured by well-meaning morons that the spirits of her lost loved ones are alive and with her. Crystal is NOT considering adopting a puppy.
Some say that Crystal’s way of expressing herself is inappropriate. In junior high, she was once assured by a close friend that, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.” Crystal was glad that her hero, David Spade, was not around to hear that.
After graduating from high school, Crystal took a short (10-year long) break from society to became an agoraphobe. It’s good that she was always home, however, otherwise, she never would have gained the strength that a woman can only get from consuming a decade’s worth of Oprah episodes.
10 years later, Crystal got tired of waiting to be okay and went out and got a job. It was just as bad as she’d expected, but she persevered, went back to school, and after 5 years, graduated from Glendale Community College with an AA in English (and with a 4.0 GPA, she likes to point out).
Crystal lives in the San Fernando Valley, with her closest-living (for now) relative. She is currently working on a fantasy novel about a teenage girl and her best friend, a shapeshifting unicorn. Let’s see where that goes.
Trigger Warning: suicidal ideology. This is going to sound arrogant as hell, but I’m going to say it anyway. There is something special about me. I’m not sure what it is, some sort of charisma or likability. Maybe it’s because I look like the human equivalent of a Care Bear — whatever it is. I …
Spoiler/Trigger Warning: Suicidal Ideology and other dark stuff. I did a thing. I am almost maxed out on my credit card and I don’t currently have a job, and my bank pre-approved me for a new credit card because I used to have a job, so I applied for the new credit card. Then, I …
I had forgotten, maybe deliberately, how supportive the comedy community can be. I shared my first post about comedy on Facebook some time after midnight on Sunday and after receiving my first like and comment a few minutes later, I was blasted with immediate self-doubt — who did I think I was, what did I …