Welcome to CrystalCharee.com ! Click around and see what sick, twisted stuff she’s been up to. (Mostly watching cat videos on Facebook, so don’t be alarmed if you find nothing here.)
Crystal Charee is a semi-functional agoraphobe who is plagued with creativity and perfectionism — a Hell of a combination. Crystal is a writer, drawer, and was even, briefly, a stand-up comedian (everyone makes mistakes).
Born in Ohio, to drug-addicted and interesting parents, Crystal Charee is mostly sane. When she was three, Crystal moved her mother and her brothers to California, and raised them in a small, meth-centric town in the San Fernando Valley.
She’s not great at taking care of people, so the younger brother was hit by a car almost immediately and the older mother got cancer a few decades later. Both are dead, but Crystal is assured by well-meaning morons that the spirits of her lost loved ones are alive and with her. Crystal is NOT considering adopting a puppy.
Some say that Crystal’s way of expressing herself is inappropriate. In junior high, she was assured by a close friend that, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.” Crystal was glad that her hero, David Spade, was not around to hear that.
After graduating from high school, Crystal took a short (10-year long) break from society to became an agoraphobe. One day, Crystal got tired of waiting to be okay and went out and got a job. It was just as bad as she’d expected, but she persevered, went back to school, and after 5 years, graduated from Glendale Community College with an AA in English (and with a 4.0 GPA, she likes to point out).
She functioned in society for a while, cultivating the skill of seeming normal, but that got exhausting and she has since retired. Crystal lives in the San Fernando Valley, with her closest-living (for now) relative. She is currently working on a fantasy novel about a teenage girl and her best friend, a shape-shifting unicorn — and a few dozen other unfinished projects.
Crystal, an inveterate procrastinator, habitual practitioner of suicidal ideology, and mild hypochondriac has decided to share all of her creativity on her website. If she doesn’t die, she might finish some of these projects herself, but either way, Crystal hopes that you find some inspiration that will spark your own creativity. Feel free to borrow or straight up steal anything you find here for your own use and profit (unless you’re Disney. Fuck off, Disney. (Although Crystal recognizes that corporations are people, those people are are soulless and not welcome here.)).
BTW, this website is probably safe for work but not recommended for children despite the cute graphics.
Gretel stared at the girl’s hand. She shook it slowly. “Gretel,” she said. Aura beamed. “I know. I came here to see you.” Gretel frowned. “I don’t understand.” Aura nodded, as though she’d expected to hear that. “Sometimes when I hear a story, my ears itch. That’s how I know it’s true. And then I …
Gretel awoke. Her head rested on an old almanac, and the barkeep had laid his apron over her before retiring for the evening. Gretel rose, groaning as her muscles protested. The sky through the window was bright blue, and the birds screeching outside tweaked at her pounding headache. Gretel replaced the almanac on the bookcase, …
Gretel sat at the bar, nursing bruised knuckles and a beer. The witch had won again. The thought echoed in Gretel’s mind like a malignant mantra. “You look sad.” The voice came from the stool to Gretel’s right. She looked over, and then down. A little girl, who couldn’t be older than six years old, …