Welcome to CrystalCharee.com ! Click around and see what sick, twisted stuff she’s been up to. (Mostly watching cat videos on Facebook, so don’t be alarmed if you find nothing here.)
Crystal Charee has no idea what she’s doing. Writer, drawer, even, briefly, a stand-up comedian (everyone makes mistakes), Crystal Charee, like everyone on the planet, is figuring stuff out.
Born in Ohio, to drug-addicted, and insane parents, Crystal Charee is relatively functional. When she was three, Crystal moved her mother and her brothers to California, and raised them in a small, meth-centric town in the San Fernando Valley.
She’s not great at taking care of people, so the younger brother was hit by a car almost immediately and the older mother got cancer a few years ago. Both are dead, but Crystal is assured by well-meaning morons that the spirits of her lost loved ones are alive and with her. Crystal is NOT considering adopting a puppy.
Some say that Crystal’s way of expressing herself is inappropriate. In junior high, she was once assured by a close friend that, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.” Crystal was glad that her hero, David Spade, was not around to hear that.
After graduating from high school, Crystal took a short (10-year long) break from society to became an agoraphobe. It’s good that she was always home, however, otherwise, she never would have gained the strength that a woman can only get from a decade’s worth of Oprah.
10 years later, Crystal got tired of waiting to be okay and went out and got a job. It was just as bad as she’d expected, but she persevered, went back to school, and after 5 years, graduated from Glendale Community College with an AA in English (and with a 4.0 GPA, she likes to point out).
Crystal lives in the San Fernando Valley, with her closest-living (for now) relative. She works as a booker at a comedy club, but is never happy, even with a cool-ass job like that. She recently completed a six-month editing internship at a publishing company and has decided to not be an editor. Having cashiered, studented, interned (twice), and with the aforementioned cool-ass job, you’d think she’d be able to commit to a path, but here we are.
Crystal Chare is currently working on a fantasy novel about a teenage girl and her best friend, a shapeshifting unicorn. Let’s see where that goes.
God, I’m tired. I keep vacillating between actively wanting to kill myself and being terrified that I have like two weeks left to live because I have a tumor or an aneurysm that’s about to explode or something. There are so many things I should be doing, and I’m not doing any of them, because why …
I have to stop complaining about my job. Not because I don’t hate it but because nobody wants to hear about it. People are supposed to want power, even women, so to complain that the collective hopes and dreams are, as Dan Fogelberg once described a woman’s heart “so fragile and heavy to hold” — …
I want to write a song called “You Don’t Get to Know Me”, so I Googled “How to Write a Song and I’m going to try to write a song tonight from this article that I found. Why this article and not another? This one popped up first. Yay, research. So, I know the title …